One of the professional hats I wear gives me the opportunity to greet adolescents as they are checked into a residential treatment center for substance abuse and addiction. The other day we greeted two individuals who arrived at nearly the same time. Such occasions are always accompanied by a bit of anxiety as we often don't know what shape the person will arrive in. Drugs and alcohol don't typically bring out the best in a person, you know...
Nonetheless, one of the very early dynamics that we are inclined to position a fair amount of self-confidence in is who is delivering them in. Most of the moment, if the adolescent is accompanied by one or even more parent or guardians, we run under an early presumption that the person might happen to be rather ready or open to happening to be there as well as obtaining therapy; that they may realize that they need a complication as well as choose support having it. As an alternative, if they can be found in having expert transports, they might be quite, um ... reduced so.
These two adolescents were both happening to be accrued by their papas. We seemed happy concerning that. As I discussed, it typically indicates that the teenagers happen to be more eager to be there as well as open to treatment. By having one of them, that happened to be specifically the case. He had actually completed several weeks in an outstanding wilderness program and was now pertaining to this show to finalize therapy and concentration intensively on some medicine as well as alcohol problems along with find out to administer the skills he had learned in the wilderness in a community environment that happened to be even more like what he might be dealing with at house. While there were regarding a ton locations he might have actually instead been, he knew that this happened to be exactly what happened to be leading. He was open to the opportunity and realized that his father cherished him and that his moms and dads happen to be doing what they seemed happened to be the appropriate activity for him. He happened to be open to the possibility as well as willing to maximize it.
The other one? Well, not so much. She threw a tantrum. A full blown fit, really. When she realized that the treatment center didn't have the amenities that she felt she required she really came untied. I won't go into the variety of expletives she used, most of which began with the letter "F" and all the artistic ways she used them in describing to her parents just what she thought of their efforts in her behalf, but it suffices to say, she wasn't happy... at all.
Here's the point: Two kids, both with a similar set of problems. Both have parents that care about them enough to provide treatment and the best possible help to find solutions to those problems that they could. Yet, they responded in dramatically different ways. Sure, we can guess that there were big differences in the individuals, the parenting styles used while they were growing up, their life experiences and all sorts of things, but this much remains, they responded very differently to a similar opportunity and circumstance. That at least suggests strongly, that after all we can do as parents, the ultimate outcome doesn't depend on us; it depends on our children. The lesson? We are responsible for the input; to do our very best and to work to continue to improve that best. The rest-the outcome-is not up to us.
By profession, I suppose the easiest description for me would be that of a psychotherapist. It's important, I feel, to say that as one word rather than two, by the way... psychotherapist rather than psycho-therapist. (Although I'm willing to allow that there are plenty of the latter!) All that means is that I am someone that has made most of my living working with people in a variety of ways and settings trying to help them experience better lives.
Nonetheless, one of the very early dynamics that we are inclined to position a fair amount of self-confidence in is who is delivering them in. Most of the moment, if the adolescent is accompanied by one or even more parent or guardians, we run under an early presumption that the person might happen to be rather ready or open to happening to be there as well as obtaining therapy; that they may realize that they need a complication as well as choose support having it. As an alternative, if they can be found in having expert transports, they might be quite, um ... reduced so.
These two adolescents were both happening to be accrued by their papas. We seemed happy concerning that. As I discussed, it typically indicates that the teenagers happen to be more eager to be there as well as open to treatment. By having one of them, that happened to be specifically the case. He had actually completed several weeks in an outstanding wilderness program and was now pertaining to this show to finalize therapy and concentration intensively on some medicine as well as alcohol problems along with find out to administer the skills he had learned in the wilderness in a community environment that happened to be even more like what he might be dealing with at house. While there were regarding a ton locations he might have actually instead been, he knew that this happened to be exactly what happened to be leading. He was open to the opportunity and realized that his father cherished him and that his moms and dads happen to be doing what they seemed happened to be the appropriate activity for him. He happened to be open to the possibility as well as willing to maximize it.
The other one? Well, not so much. She threw a tantrum. A full blown fit, really. When she realized that the treatment center didn't have the amenities that she felt she required she really came untied. I won't go into the variety of expletives she used, most of which began with the letter "F" and all the artistic ways she used them in describing to her parents just what she thought of their efforts in her behalf, but it suffices to say, she wasn't happy... at all.
Here's the point: Two kids, both with a similar set of problems. Both have parents that care about them enough to provide treatment and the best possible help to find solutions to those problems that they could. Yet, they responded in dramatically different ways. Sure, we can guess that there were big differences in the individuals, the parenting styles used while they were growing up, their life experiences and all sorts of things, but this much remains, they responded very differently to a similar opportunity and circumstance. That at least suggests strongly, that after all we can do as parents, the ultimate outcome doesn't depend on us; it depends on our children. The lesson? We are responsible for the input; to do our very best and to work to continue to improve that best. The rest-the outcome-is not up to us.
By profession, I suppose the easiest description for me would be that of a psychotherapist. It's important, I feel, to say that as one word rather than two, by the way... psychotherapist rather than psycho-therapist. (Although I'm willing to allow that there are plenty of the latter!) All that means is that I am someone that has made most of my living working with people in a variety of ways and settings trying to help them experience better lives.
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